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Alimony In Divorce

The decision to divorce is often a difficult choice, but once made, it is time to start planning.  If you are nervous about your financial future or the topic of alimony, do not worry; you are not alone.  Mediation allows parties to talk through their feelings and fears about alimony in a safe and confidential setting. 

Confidential discussions during mediation provide parties a productive opportunity to discuss alimony in a stress-free environment.  Guidance from the mediator helps to determine whether alimony is appropriate in the grand scheme of the divorce plan.  Planning budgets to project the income and expenses of the parties and other family members, if children are involved, is a useful exercise.  While divorce can be a financial hardship, the effects of the divorce are minimized by making and following budgets.   Alimony is a tool the parties can use to make a healthy financial plan. 

Parties using mediation decide the issue of alimony with self-determination.  This is often more satisfying than leaving it up to the lawyers or judges, who themselves are often perplexed and challenged to determine what is fair.  Alimony reform is adding even more uncertainty on the topic.    There are several suggested formulas or guidelines to explore.   The MBA/BBA guidelines, the Ginsburg formula, the Scandurra formula, and the 1/3 formula all provide frameworks for analyzing potential alimony amounts and duration. 

Some guidelines suggest durational limits on alimony in relation to the length of the marriage.   Sometimes courts leave duration open ended, perhaps rationalizing that either party may file a complaint for modification in the event of a change in material circumstance.   In mediation, the parties decide what is right for their unique situation.  The flexibility found in mediation is better suited to creating a plan that is agreeable to both parties. 

Alimony is a difficult topic, because no two cases are the same; every divorce is slightly different.   By exploring many different scenarios, mediation participants will have a better understanding of the options and the implications each formula provides.   Mediators are well suited to encourage the creativity of the parties themselves in formulating the divorce plan on an individual basis.  In mediation, the decision about alimony is yours to make.  With guidance, you will make the right choice, because it will be yours. 

Two thirds of help is to give courage. – Irish Proverb

Determining the Best Interests of Adolescent Children

          Teenage children sometimes become confused and present with difficult behavior. Parenting that previously worked may no longer manage difficult behaviors. During divorce, strategies that once helped seem to make things worse. Parenting through divorce presents unique challenges and concerns. Professionals can provide helpful information when co-parenting seems impossible.

          Courts are often ill equipped to make important parenting decisions about adolescents. Some teenage children get what they want, even in cases where a professional Guardian Ad Litem makes specific recommendations. This may results in dramatic changes for a child who is undergoing multiple changes due to parental divorce and adolescence. Parents may better explore and understand the best interests of their child when mediators provide education and resources.

          Research in the area of development psychology is relevant to understanding what is in the best interests of our teenagers. Participants in mediation each share their belief systems about what is best for the adolescent in regards to parenting and living arrangements. Learning how to manage parental conflict, to minimize the harmful effects on the adolescent child, is a big factor in the child’s future success. Families struggling with adolescent issues will find better resolutions using mediation.         

          There will always be conflict; learning skills to manage opposition is a worthy task for all parents. Differences of opinion arise whether couples remain married or parent post-divorce. Finding solutions together provides a less stressful atmosphere for the child and the parents.